Trump Declares Infrastructure Awareness Week, Immediately Changes Topic
WASHINGTON — President Trump announced Monday the start of what the White House described as “Infrastructure Awareness Week,” an initiative intended to highlight the administration’s focus on roads, bridges, and other public works before attention shifted to unrelated matters later the same day. The announcement was made during a brief appearance outside the White House, […]
White House Staff Accidentally Leaks Entire Week’s Strategy Memo, Quickly Clarifies It Was “Just a Vibe Document”
WASHINGTON, D.C. — The White House confirmed Tuesday that an internal document outlining the administration’s strategic priorities for the coming week was mistakenly distributed to a broad and unintended audience, prompting a brief wave of confusion, speculation, and quiet resignation across Washington before officials clarified that the memo was never intended to be interpreted as […]
Congress Holds Emergency Hearing, Spends Entire Time Arguing Over Microphone Settings
WASHINGTON — A highly anticipated emergency congressional hearing concluded Thursday without testimony after lawmakers spent the entire session debating microphone placement, volume levels, and who was responsible for turning the system on. The hearing, convened to address what leadership described as an “urgent national matter,” adjourned after nearly three hours with no witnesses sworn in […]
White House Announces “Major Policy Shift,” Refuses to Say Which Policy or In Which Direction
WASHINGTON — The White House announced Tuesday that the administration has approved a “major policy shift,” though officials declined to specify which policy would be affected or how the change would be implemented. The announcement was delivered during a regularly scheduled press briefing, where the press secretary described the shift as “significant,” “forward-looking,” and “necessary […]
Trump Renames Historic Memorial After Himself, Says Original Figure “Would’ve Wanted It”
WASHINGTON — President Trump announced Monday that a prominent national memorial would be renamed in his honor, describing the decision as both “long overdue” and “deeply respectful of history.” Speaking during a brief appearance outside the White House, the president said the original figure commemorated by the memorial would have supported the change, citing what […]